


Clones al Capriccio

by The Stars are Warring (the_Sagest_brush)



Series: Jo Writes Star Wars stuff [4]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: A oneshot with aspirations of grandure, Commander fox needs a break, Crack, Gen, I think - idk what even qualifies as crack at this point, In which Fox gets a Hurdy Gurdy as a gift and proceeds to bully senators, Let Clones annoy senators 2k21, Mostly on Purpose, Some of it's accidental, This fic is a mess but I want it gone so here it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:53:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28745763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_Sagest_brush/pseuds/The%20Stars%20are%20Warring
Summary: (Capriccio: a term used in music to denote "A humorous, fanciful, or bizarre, composition, often characterized by an idiosyncratic departure from current stylistic norms.")Ok, so what if Fox was gifted a Hurdy Gurdy and just played it at all hours of the day and night when he's So Done tm with the senate's bullshit.Rated T for language because I curse a lot and I don't remember if I say the F word in this one or notThis has been in my drafts for like six months so it prolly ain't getting any more complete but I thought it was funny so I'm posting it.
Series: Jo Writes Star Wars stuff [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878931
Comments: 23
Kudos: 109
Collections: Commander Fox





	Clones al Capriccio

**Author's Note:**

> I don't usually write crack but this just sort of.... happened.  
> Also its January aka worst month ever and I'm thinking maybe I'm not the only one needing some extra seretonin and people seemed to like my other dumb star wars fic (may the chat group be with you) So anyway all justifications aside, here's this thing. Its not exactly complete but it is what it is.

Fox loves his brothers.  
Really.

But he also wishes they'd stop using official military channels to send him random items.

Gree is the most guilty. Gree's always been a pack-rat and seems to think everyone else should be one too. 

Also - You need a kriffing archive like the Jedi temple to figure out what 90% of Gree's "gifts" even are.  
A prime example being the object currently sitting on Fox's desk.

It's roughly the length of his arm, and probably 2.5 times the width. Strings, and a handle and keys - Judging by the sound it made when Fox pulled it out of the box - it's an instrument of some sort. But - Fox picks up his comm anyway.

Fox: Gree. What the fuck is this.

Gree: Oh did you finally get your care package

Fox: What is it.

Gree: It's a musical instrument

Gree: Thire said you needed a hobby.

Fox: Thire's full of Osik. I have enough to do without learning to play a kriffing instrument.

Gree: Yeah, but Music's fun.

Fox: Also stop using the official military shipping to send "care packages."

Gree: Learn to play the instrument, and maybe u'll calm down.

Fox: Fuck off

Gree: Can't handle a challenge?

Fox gets halfway through a reply before he catches himself.

 _Honestly_. He's not a _tubie._

He huffs and shuts off his com. Gree _would_ send him a kriffing instrument as an excuse to wind him up. He and Thire were on assignment together about a month ago. They probably have a bet going to see if he’ll take the bait and learn to play it or not. 

Fox grumbles under his breath and goes back to his paperwork. 

But - but. He glances at the instrument on his way out of the office that night. It would be nice to do something that wasn’t just paperwork and target practice for once.

The thought of Thire grinning smugly tho is enough for Fox to roll his eyes and close the door. 

But he looks at it again the next night and the one after that. 

All in all, Fox holds out a week before he caves. He’s tired, and he doesn’t want to go back to barracks because Stone will look at him like a kicked puppy and try to tell him to get more rest and Fox is just - He shakes himself and picks up the instrument. A couple of holonet searches give him a few basic tutorials and - it’s - nice? Almost? 

Fox starts fiddling with the instrument pretty regularly after the first night. He learns very quickly how to mute it because, of course, Gree found him an instrument that _echos_.

But it is actually a little relaxing, the music is pleasantly haunting, and it actually doesn't take much to make it sound like _something._ Though it's trickier to make it sound the way he wants it to.

It's calming and makes Fox feel slightly less like he's going to murder the next senator he runs across. Slightly. Not that he would ever admit any of that. 

To anyone. 

Ever.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Two weeks later though - a certain human senator from one of the core worlds (Fox doesn't care enough to remember which - Senator Hoffus is a Shebse) decides to tear a strip off one of Fox's shinies. The kid's fine. Thorn looks out for him. But - Well Fox would prefer it if the kid had had one kriffing day on Coruscant before being bawled out by someone who didn’t think clones were people. 

Fox is used to being useless in this sort of situation. He can’t exactly go and rough up a senator no matter how justified.

Later though, when he walks by the senator’s office and hears him barking orders for quiet because of his ‘horrendous hangover’ well - Fox is off duty in 30 minutes, and it's far too easy a target for someone trained by 20,000 brothers. 

For the next 4 hours - the floor nearest that senator's office is filled with the near-constant droning of a jaunty little tune Fox has heard the Nautolan Senatorial aide humming. When Fox gets tired of that, he switches to a marching song a couple of the bounty hunters from Kamino had favoured. And after that a Naboo waltz that he doesn’t quite know but the idea gets across, and it gives him a chance to practice it un-muted so he can get the hang of the more subtle melody changes.

Senator Hoffus is loosing his kriffing mind trying to convince the maintenance droids the music is playing over the senate intercom (it’s not, Fox has just had the interior of the senate building memorized since he was first transferred here and knows exactly where the good hiding spots are to make sure the music filters into senator Hoffus's office.

By the time Fox slips back into his own broom closet of an office, he feels considerably less murderous. Tone - the new lieutenant Thorn has on security detail has posted 4 or 5 holovids to the CG's general alert system. Fox finds to his delight that it's a perfect view of the senator getting bawled out by a maintenance droid when he insists for the 4th time that something's wrong with the P.A. system while Fox's music plays jauntily in the background.

Of course, it is _unprofessional_ and _unsanctioned sharing of secure footage_ \- Fox saves the vids and forwards them to Gree, Neyo and Colt anyway. 

He gets a message from Gree 15 minutes later.

Gree: SO How do you like your musical instrument. 

Fox: It'sveryniceIloveitthankyou. 

Gree: :)

Fox: Now stop sending me things through official military shipping channels

Gree: ugh you're no fun

Fox: Hey I shared the holos didn't I

Gree: You’re a little fun. 

Fox: Wow such high praise.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

“What is that?” Mace Windu asks, bemused at the music. Ponds hesitates, head tilted. 

“A marching song of some type I believe sir.”

“Yes, but why is it playing in the senate building?” Windu clarifies. 

“Guess one of the guard found a hobby.” Ponds says, as blandly as he can manage given that Colt forwarded him a holo this morning from Fox of the Kaminoan senator attempting to hold a meeting while ‘Vode an’ played very loudly in the background.

Windu raises an eyebrow, and to anyone else, it might look like disapproval. Ponds, however, recognizes the amusement in the general's face. "Good for them," Windu says mildly as they continue towards the chancellor's office. 

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

Fox has been playing the instrument for a few months when the inevitable happens.

He's taken to sitting in the corner of a maintenance room under the council room to practice his music. Its been a couple of weeks and he's never come close to being interrupted down here. He's leaning against the wall near the maintenance hatch he usually uses to get around the senate building. (When off duty why risk a chance encounter with a senator?) He tilts his head, trying to parse a particularly tricky key change he took his helmet off a few minutes ago. He usually doesn't go helmetless anywhere, but it's easier to hear without his bucket on.

He's almost got the note progression down, and his intense concentration is probably why he doesn’t hear the senator coming. Fox glances up - some sixth sense alerting him a few moments too late. The Mon Calamari’s eyes go wide as he and Fox stare at each other.

For some reason, it never occurs to Fox in the long 30 seconds the 2 of them stare at each other that he should stop playing or explain himself. 

That is until the senator blinks and glances back into the hallway - perhaps to call his companion. Fox doesn’t linger to find out, grabbing his helmet and making his escape back the way he came. The jostled instrument's last note lingers in the room as the senator turns back to gesture to where the clone had been. 

The senator blinks glances around the room with no other visible exits. 

“Hello?” 

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Since there's no blaring alarm by the time Fox gets back to his office, he dares to hope he's gotten away with the indiscretion. Serves him right for practising in a kriffing publicly available room.

Of all people, he should know better.

Despite the apparent lack of alarm, Fox is still jumpy enough that he seriously considers doing an about-face and trying to hide somewhere when he sees one of the Mon Calamari's aides heading for him.

"Commander! May I speak to you?" _To late._

"Yes, sir."

"Do you know about the haunting?"

Fox stares at the aide for a moment before his brain catches up enough for him to manage a weak “Excuse me?” 

The senatorial aide doesn't seem to mind the pause. “I know it sounds strange commander - but Senator Kach saw the ghost himself! Lots of cultures tell stories about ghosts that are accompanied by music.” _They thought I was a ghost?_ Fox blinks, that's certainly the best outcome for _him_. The aide shifts foot to foot, and when Fox doesn't immediately respond, they launch into more rambling.

"I just thought you ought to know. Besides often the reason ghosts appear is that there’s something important that they died without doing. So someone in the living world has to make something happen before the ghost can be at rest.”

“Hmm,” Fox says because he’s not sure how else to react.

“Anyway, is there something that might cause the ghost of a clone to haunt the senate?”  
Fox can think of a few reasons _he_ might haunt the senate building. But he hesitates a moment before mentally shrugging.

“Well - the senate has refused to give clones any rights as citizens.” The aide's eyes widen, and Fox immediately regrets everything. Before he can decide what to do about it though the Aide speaks again

" _Oh, of course."_ Dawning realization was... definitively not the reaction Fox had been expecting. The aid taps their fingers against their wide belt, staring into space for a moment, before giving their head a slight shake.

"Thank you, commander; I won't take any more of your time.” The aide turns and walks back the way they'd come.

"Sure," Fox says a little belatedly. _W_ _hat the fuck._

——————————————————————————————————————————————

“So let me get this straight, they think the music is accompanying the ghost of a dead clone?” Thorn asks. “Who put that idea in their heads?” Stone shrugs.

“Apparently, one of the mon calamari senators saw it.” Thire actually laughs out loud and twists in his seat to yell across the room at Fox.

“You got CAUGHT?” Fox levels an irritated glare in Thire's direction but doesn’t deign to respond.

“What do you mean he got caught?” Thorn demands. Thire still half twisted in his chair glances back.

“Fox is the one playing the music.” Thorn’s jaw drops. “What?!?”

“You didn’t know?” Thire asks Thorn blinks, then jumps up and makes his way over to Fox.

“You managed to keep the fact that you learned to play a wholeass instrument _a secret_?” Fox looks up at him placidly.

“I feel like I should be insulted by your lack of faith in my subtlety.” Thorn gapes for a moment.

“Thorn’s just mad literally everyone else in command knew before he did,” Stone says on his way for more caff.

“So- Fox what’s your take on the ghost idea?” Thire asks before Thorn can get a coherent thought in place.

“Don’t say no one’s asked you about it,” Stone says.

Fox shrugs as he drains the last of his Caff.

“One of the aides wanted to know why a clone would haunt the senate.” The other commanders snort.

“Oh, Kriff why wouldn’t a clone haunt the senate,” Stone says. Thire makes a toasting motion with his mug.

“Please tell me you told them it was because this clone wanted rights,” Thorn says. Fox drops his mug in the cleanser.

“'Course I did. Not that it'll make any difference.”

“You underestimate their motivation to have a couple of weeks of silence,” Stone says.

"They can suffer.” Fox replies "One ghost sighting won't convince several thousand senators to spend their "hard-earned" credits on us."

" _One_ might not." Thire says slowly. " _but-"_ Stone groans. 

"Are we seriously considering trying to convince the senate that clones are haunting them?" Thorn slaps both hands on the table

" _Absolutely_ we are."

———————————————————————————————————————————

Palpatine glares out the window. A few moments ago, he’d been sitting at his desk and caught himself drumming his fingers in rhythm to the jaunty Weequay tune echoing through the top floor of the senate building. He has things to do, yet Sideous’s pride cringes at the thought of appearing in a holo to his apprentice with the cursed music. All his efforts to locate the insipid musician have failed. Though he’s caught vague impressions of self-satisfaction - irritation - the emotions vary. But whoever it has mental shields that could rival master Windu's. 

Sidious considers throwing his desk through the window since that- at least would give him something else to think about. 

There’s a knock on the door, and Sideous smooths the fury from his face, veiling it behind mild irritation.

“Chancellor.” The speaker says with a bow. “The finance committee requests your attendance at their meeting in half an hour.”

“Of course, speaker,” Palpatine says as the weequay tune fades. “I was expecting a holo call -” The music starts up again. The nautolan drinking song, the one with 5 verses, Palpatine sighs.

“But we may as well go.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————

It's only a couple of days before Thorn picks a target and drags Fox into the maintenance tunnels over their office. Fox decides a Mandalorian dirge is a good choice, and he's had it memorized for almost a month. 

Thorn has also recruited a CT named Ghost (the name is entirely incidental Fox is told) who, true to his name, drops soundlessly through the ceiling vent into the corner of the room.

The senator grumbles about the music but hardly glances up from their datapad until almost 20 minutes later.

It's worth the wait though, even though the limited vision of the maintenance grate, Fox sees her face go pale, then red as she makes a choked squeaking sound - overturning her chair as she scrambles back.

“Security. SECURITY.” Two other clones enter the room with a security droid one of Stone’s boys has fiddled with.

“What’s wrong, senator?” Tone asks.

“There's’ a clone in my office.” She hisses. “I looked up, and he was just standing there.” She points towards Ghost. Tone walks over standing almost nose to nose with the trooper. “I - don’t see him, ma’am.”

“HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE HIM HE’s RIGHT THERE.”

“G7 run a scan.” Tone’s companion says.

“No unauthorized lifeforms detected,” G7 says. “My scanners indicate the room is occupied by 2 clones, a senator, and myself.”

The senator whirls on the droid “What do you MEAN? He’s right -” She trails off as she whirls back and sees the empty corner. Tone still standing looking around fruitlessly. Ghost is wheezing silently between Fox and Thorn in the maintenance tunnel as Fox lets the last few notes of the melody ring.

“Well.” Tone says. “There’s nothing here now. Senator, would you like us to leave G7 with you?”

“I think I’ll be leaving.” The senator says stiffly. “If there’s a threat here that the droid can’t detect I hardly think I’ll stay around.”

“Suit yourself.” Tone mutters as the senator sweeps out of the room. 

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

"General?" Mace glances over to see Ponds flick a series of handsigns at him

'whats that sound?' Mace has to admit the distant music is _strangely_ familiar.

'not sure' he replies, beckoning the squad behind him. They move quietly through the seperatist base, and the music grows steadily louder.

"The outerrim seiges go well my lord." Mace holds up a fist, the troopers freeze and the Kiffar master eases forward to see Dooku in a room below them, speaking to a hooded figure via hologram.

"I expect these planets will soon be in our grasp"

"Very good." is the music.... _coming from the holoprojector?_ Mace has to admit that Mon Cala celebratory waltzes weren't _really_ a type of music he associated with sith. "I expect the jedi will soon reach your position." the hologram continues. "The republic will not want to see this planet fall." The music is _definitely_ coming from the holoprojector

"The Jedi will be dealt with my lord." Dooku says and even after almost 2 years the betrayal still makes Mace's gut twist. His hand tightens over his lightsaber as the projector flicks off, so does the music. 

_The music -_ Mace has heard that instrument before, he thinks he's heard the tune as well. He logs it away. Not now.

Now he ignites his lightsaber and drops into the room.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

  
“You know -” Senator Amidala says, “That Senator Hoffus came to me specifically to offer his support yesterday?” 

Bail Organa’s eyes go wide. “You’re not serious.” Padme grins.

“I am entirely serious.”

“Arke Hoffus has been anti clone from the beginning -” Riyo Chuchi says slowly. “His support will turn some heads at the very least.”

There are a few careful nods around the room.

“Is it time to table this bill again?” One of the more recent recruits asks. She's another historically anti-clone voter recently swayed. Padme and Bail glance at each other. 

“The timing isn’t… ideal.” Bail says slowly. "With the outer rim falling apart I doubt many of the senators would be happy to see a large change to the structure of the GAR."

“But the senate is friendlier to the idea than they’ve been since the beginning of the war.” Mon Mothma adds slowly.

**Author's Note:**

> So there u go, the senate passes the vote, and Fox has fewer reasons to annoy senators because they are less annoying. (He still does play in the vents sometimes just.. you know, to keep them humble.) But he gets paid now so that's a marked improvement. 
> 
> Mace puts two and two together, gets four, and the Jedi go "oh shit we fucked up a bit there" and promptly go wipe the floor with an unprepared Palps before doing their real job of brokering peace between the republic and the CIS. Disaster averted. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, have a great day :)


End file.
